Complaint Review: Cobra Group Granton DS Max

Its 8:30 on a Sunday night and I have a full week of (conventional) work ahead of me, my shirts need to be ironed, my shoes polished and I still need to bin the embers of Saturdays BBQ for collection tomorow.

But, you know, after finding these articles about the Cobra group on this site, all these tasks will have to wait, if it means that I might help a single person walk away from this company (rather conceited of me, neh?)

So where to begin?, well after reading about 70% of the posts here I can see clear parallels in peoples storys from across the world, demonstrating the various business' adherence to ruling method.
No matter where you are in the world, you're local office will be overwhelmingly run in the same way...

Now, if you're reading this I'll assume that you've either left the company, or, more importantly, are currently employed by them long enough for the guy who took you out on your observation day to tell you about the Cobra Group and its succsess, so giving you something to put into the search bar in google...
I'm going to write this post to the person still in the system, and to validate my experiences, state that I worked for one of these companys in the UK for almost two years...

At this stage, I'd like to put in a few caveats, because there are positive aspects to working for this group. To assert that all your time spent with these people is wasted, would be false, and cheapen my argument.

What I have taken from Cobra;

Keeping positive:
People are drawn to positivity, in the same way you were drawn to the positive atmosphere in the office. This lesson has given me lots of sales in my new life.

The Impacts/training sessions:
Most of the training that is run past you on the white board is good stuff, and can be used outside the business. Write it down!

Taking responsibility:
Controlling your own destiny is something that you need to put the time and effort into, and you're evidently someone who can put in the effort thats required.

People HAVE become owners of successful offices, and in doing so have become hugely wealthy.

There are more positives, but you catch my drift...

And the negatives... All from my personal experiences.

Saying ANYTHING "negative", in this business, no matter how constructive will lead you to be a pariah, an outcast... Drop the plastic smile for 30 seconds to show your unhappiness about working in a retirement village and all your new Office Alpha freinds will drop you like a hot brick.

These people will see you as a threat to the attitude of their team and shun you untill your a positive example worthy of being inside the inner circle.
I am guilty of being one of these people.. To those I blanked and avoided, I'd like to offer my sincere apolagys.

This job WILL become you're life...
Two reasons will cause this,
1, You will spend every waking hour apart from half of Saturday and all of Sunday doing this job and with these people.
When a job becomes a lifestyle, being excluded from the social circle hurts.

2, Every morning you will face a barrage of company indoctrination, reinforced by your new social circle that tells you that to leave this business is to endure a life of wage slavery, followed by the carrot if you follow the simple system without deviation or complaint, of Ferraris, luxury appartments, and, in my case, sex with student summer breakers... Everyone has their hot buttons, eh?
This job became my life... I lost all my freinds because I never got the chance to see them over my new "freinds" they grew bored with my attempts to recruit them.

You need to pay tax on your earnings, its not just the law, but also your moral obligation.
In all my time I could not find a single person, other than the office owner, who payed tax. Advice in the form of a photocopied handout was given, but this advice was not seen to be taken up by anyone where I worked.
This is because to pay tax on the sporadic earnings that you make will make the job untenable.
In the outside world, everybody quotes earnings in terms of Net and Gross.

Dare you to interupt the office owner whilst he is reading out the high rollers in the morning meeting and ask if the numbers are Net, or Gross...

***SPECIAL NOTE FOR STUDENTS***

If this is your Summer job, then fine, make alot of money, have a laugh!
But be careful of people telling you that you're doing really well and that you should quit your course to work full time... I have seen this happen in several offices, so its possible that it can happen to you.

All these notes represent my personal opinion of working for this company, I cannot assert that all offices under the Cobra umbrella are similar to the one that I worked at because, I haven't worked at them all...
If you have had a different experience, then JUICE* to you...

* Join Us In Conning Everyone (spoken by an undisclosed Assistant Manager)

Prisoner number 6
The Village, UK
United Kingdom

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Click here to read other Rip Off Reports on ds-max, dsmax, ds/max, granton marketing, cydcor