Complaint Review: The Secret Society

So I open my mail today and the letter I get wants me to join this "secret society" - apparently they claim they have been "watching me" for 3 years and being they see me as so honorable, successful, and have true greatness these bozos want me to join their highly secretive society. They tell me I will have financial succcess, relationship prowess, and reach my highest level of achivement - whoa!!!!

If they have been watching me for 3 years they will know I don't have much to offer any secret or other society, basically I am a boring working slob but hey they want me for my stellar contributions for some reason!!

I guess they want me to email back this paper for the 'free' secrets they then send me, they will certainly send me the "secret" which is that I have to pay for the real actual Secret top secret secrets!!! I'm sure of that.

This is scam 101 in my book - jerkoffs want me to send dough and probably got my name from some site I visited for improving my typical boring day to day life and figure I am good target for their stupid scam. These jokers are scum dogs and what everyone should do is fax a 5 sheet black paper back to that fax number to use a ton of their freakin' ink, dumb a*s dirt bags.

I guess I ain't geting no secrets other then the not so secret secret that to obtain wealth, stature, and fulfillment you put your mind to it and work hard, live honestly, and do what you suppose to do as there is no easy street to that ends.

Final comment on these idiots is they can BITE ME!!!

Thank you

Chief out.